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I'm travelling Thailand and Australia. Follow my adventure. Please enjoy, comment and ask me questions you may have. Thank you for reading!

Sunday 29 March 2015

THAILAND // A RETROSPECT

I had a little under four weeks in Thailand, there were many many highs, but a few lows, which is to be expected I guess. It's been almost four months since I was in Thailand and hindsight is beautiful, you tend to forget the shit that happens and your mind focuses on the good. In my next blog post I will write about the fact that someone in Thailand stole $2,500 AUD from my Aussie Cash Passport, four months on and this has only just been resolved, this effected the start of my Australia Adventure tremendously. Obviously my injuries impacted the start of Australia too, of which there complications involving a return to hospital here in Sydney. The stress of BKK took a while to leave me, and I am not sure I will ever go back, but then I now know what to expect, they say your second time is much better. The highs were were HIGH though. I think about the time I spent in Koh Samui, Koh Tao and the first two days in BKK. sure Koh Samui suffered one shitty night but that's no where near enough to taint the experience. I grew much closer to old friends, and in the process made new friends and they are still in my life despite being half a world away and these are friendships that will only grow. Not forgetting the time I spent with Finn who I absolutely adore, he is such a cheeky boy and funny. 

The good things to come out of BKK? Well it wasn't ALL bad, I met a lovely bloke called Damien in my hostel, the most unfriendliest hostel that exists I am sure! A young Aussie guy who is totally chilled, as you'd expect, and a total laugh, especially under the influence. As soon as I make my way up towards Brisbane he will be getting called.

Chiang Mai is definitely on my list of places I want to return too. There are activities outstanding that I want to give a go. I want to go back to Baan Khun Hostel, I can absolutely see why it was the most well rated hostel in CM. 

IF YOU DON'T STAY HERE WHEN VISITING CHIANG MAI THEN YOU ARE STUPID. Just saying.

I met Joe, who is also in Australia now, albeit over on the West side. A very very decent bloke, I basically shared my CM experience with him and as a strange turned companion turned friend I couldn't want for more. A lot of fun was had with him. Whilst I'm on it, check out his blog and Insta....

INSTAGRAM // @jdgls
BLOG // http://jdgls.me

The jungle trek, literally the only thing I was sure I wanted to do in Thailand did not disappoint. I would have paid a lot more than £30 for that experience. It really is a MUST DO. I surprised myself, after all this whole experience of travelling a lot about pushing your personal boundaries and limits - putting yourself to the test, right? I made some firm friends, especially two who have been a big part of my Australian Adventure, Zay and Cheeks. I've shared experiences here and there with them and I cannot wait to share more with them. 

Thailand is an incredible place. Would I go back? Chiang Mai for sure, and Koh Tao (3 days is not enough). If I was thinking about an Asian adventure I would be thinking the countries that surround Thailand, and I would definitely dip into and out of Thailand but it is not my recommendation to have that as your primary destination.

I will forever smile when I think of Thailand. Ain't no shitty experiences going to turn that upside down!

CHIANG-OVER

Chiang Mai - 23/11/2014 - 29/11/2014
Arrived in Chiang Mai.

I travelled for three hours on a public bus to Chiang Mai from Pai at a wallet busting cost of 150baht (that's a whole £3!) and just like the journey to Pai, it consisted of a long and winding road through the Northern Thailand mountains.  Once in Chiang Mai (CM) I had not a clue where I was just like in BKK however the very clear difference was the lack of people trying to get me to go with their taxi or tuk tuk.  I found a tuk tuk on the main road, a large van as opposed to the very nifty little machines in BKK. 100baht (£2) and a 30 minute diverted journey later and I arrived at my hostel, Baan Kunt Hostel, I should say formerly, it is now known as Baan Khun - but you can see why I picked this place! Loyal readers will be aware that Kunt is not something that literally intices me, just the word/phrase.  I must point out also that I booked this hostel on www.hostelworld.com and it was the highest rated/reviewed hostel in CM.  The hostel is located just outside the old city, so perfect for the inner city needs.

CM's old city is surrounded by an old wall that follows it around in a square, there is also a moat that surrounds this part of the city which separates the two way traffic that also follows the old city around.  

City map of Chiang Mai.

Sunday 23/11/2014

When I arrived at the hostel I received a very warm welcome from Momma Noi (owner), there is a very clear family vibe amongst the staff here.  As you walk into the hostel you have to remove your footwear, which is very common in Asian culture, and you walk through the tour/activity store before reaching the hostel reception. A guy was checking in, in front of me, his name was Henry,from England, and funnily enough worked at St George's Hospital in Tooting, which is part of my patrolling patch at work in London. Very nice chap and we did casually arrange to meet for a beer or two that night but it wasn't to be, we made up for it the following day though. I checked in and my stay there for 6 nights equated to £4 a night, yes FOUR ENGLISH POUNDS A NIGHT! I got to my room and started to unpack when I met one of my roomies, Joe, from Scotland, who too had arrived that day.  We chatted a bit and it turned out that we wanted to do a few similar activities in and out of the city. Another chap, a German guy - unfortunately his name has escaped me, also came into the room, a young and friendly fellow.  He wanted to explore the city that evening, as it was the famous CM Sunday Market, and so we went together.  

When approaching the CM Sunday Market it is apparent almost immediately why it is so famous and popular. I have never seen a market like this one before, it was HUGE, I mean seriously big, not only that but it was super busy, the setting for it was beautiful, it was dark, fairy-type lights along the stalls, the aroma of incredible street food filling the air around the whole place.  The CM Sunday Market starts or ends just outside of the gates into the old city and then squeezes in to the gates and goes through the heart of the old city where it then just spreads across ancient streets into temple grounds, and into the nooks and crannies of the old city.  It is pretty well organised, not so much the public but the layout, food sections, clothing sections, arts, crafts, gifts etc. There were street performers, artists, and all the items you can imagine at all kinds of prices; tacky gifts, luxurious furniture, stunning paintings, bizarre masks, lanterns, just too many to write down.  If you ever get to CM, then this Sunday Market really is a complete must.  

Walking around this incredible market reaffirmed to me that THIS was the Thailand I was expecting. I enjoyed some street food as I walked around, it has to be impossible not too, the smells I tell you THE SMELLS! Oooft. I ate, I walked, I tried to take the atmosphere, the scenery, the people, the chaos and everything else in but writing it here is difficult, there is no words that can truly describe the experience. Superb.

Chiang Mai Sunday Market.

The friendly German guy & I.

Monday 24/11/2014

The following day I got chatting to Joe about our plans for the CM experience, we both wanted to do the Jungle Trek. We spoke to Momma Noi at the hostel's excursions store and we arranged to do a three day jungle trek starting on Tuesday 25/11.  Our trip included a special visit to the Karen Long Neck Hill tribe and the cost was a ridiculous bargain, around £30 for the three days, the price is amazing given what is included in the experience for it as you'll read shortly. I also saw Henry this morning and he, Joe and I decided to go for a walk around the city.  I was armed with my iPad, as it had my Lonely Planet guide on it which has a walking tour of the city inside it;


Chiang Mai Old City Temple Tour. 

We decided to follow the route the LP guide suggests and it's pretty straight forward to follow and includes all the 'major' Temples. We went to them all, and I think it's fair to say, as I am sure I already have in this blog, that once you've seen one Temple you've pretty much seen them all, barring the odd jaw dropper, which is precisely why you can't miss one, there are some truly mind blowing structures. However as mentioned before my issue here is that there is near on NO information in English to explain the significance of each Temple/Buddha.  One of the temps actually has a Monk Chat session which is great, I did want to do it but the monks were all in session.  We popped into the odd shop as we walked around, I picked up some valium in a chemist, as you do, mildly amusing what prescription meds you can get over the counter in one country and not another.  I wanted to be able to sleep on the jungle trek and on the plane to Australia - I actually have only taken one and it was not on the jungle trek, nor was it on the plane to Australia, it did work a right treat though! The three of us clearly deserved the injection of some light refreshments in our life by the end of our tour. We went for some uber cheap food, which was delishylocious as I had come to expect in Thailand. After food we went to a bar, the name of which escapes me, and from about 1400hrs we basically just got pissed untiil about 0100hrs...... I think, all in the same bar.  We played killer pool for about as long, which FYI - I really impressed myself with my ability and pure skillllllz, I'm pretty sure Henners and Joe thought I was fluking. It was a very funny day/night, the best are usually unplanned though right? Henry and Joe took over my Grindr account which had HILARIOUS consequences.

GAYS: If you're ever out for drinks with a straight friends hand them your phone and turn on Grindr and enjoy the outcome.

I wish I had taken screen grabs of the conversations, especially between Henry and a Grindr user, it was eye watering funny and escalated hard, none of which you, my loyal readers, would find that funny without the screen grabs. Henners is a deviant bitch.

The boys made friends with a very sweet girl who got involved with the killer pool, I believe she was trying to sell us something, I think it was the glow sticks in the shape of glasses or maybe it was flowers, either way I am not sure we bought anything but if we didn't that child has probably been murdered since.  RIP young one.

Collection of the temples in Chiang Mai.

Inside of one of the temples in Chiang Mai.

 Decorative dragon outside a temple in Chiang Mai.


The boys entertaining the little girl. So cute!

Henry, Myself & Joe.

JUNGLE TREKKING: Tuesday 25/11/2014 // Wednesday 26/11/2014 // Thursday 27/11/2014

DAY ONE

Now, I never thought in a million years that I would go jungle trekking, the very thought of it doesn't really shout 'STEVE' does it? I am after all incredibly glamorous, and I enjoy my personal products, a lovely bed, a cocktail, sun tan, moisturisers, I'm effectively a TOWIE cast member (main, Obvs!) without actually being on the show.  I am not one for nature except watching it on my TV screen, in the safety and comfort of a bricked building, but never the less it was something I was very excited about and the only thing I knew for sure I had to do.  Joe and I got picked up bright and early and we commenced picking others up. On a little side note the hostel refunded me three nights of stay and kept the bulk of my luggage under lock and key whilst I was on this trip and ensured I still had a bed for when I returned.

We were placed into a large version of a Tuk Tuk and we collected the other folks who we were going to be trekking with.  Now the first two we picked up was Sam and Leanne. I can't go on without describing my first visual and hearing of these two, we were outside their hotel and I could see this very glamorous young lady, who I now know to be Leanne, her hair and look had been TURNT OUT (this means HOT!) and her face had been beaten to an inch of her LIFE (this means impeccable make up), and she was carrying her handbag, initially I was like she can't be coming to this trek, and low and behold she was! I thought to myself, and I believe I said this out loud to Joe - 'THIS IS MY KINDA GURRRRL'.  Sam came to my visual shortly after Leanne, Sam is a self professed Tranny, although she isn't actually a Tranny, and she was armed with a guitar, again she looked glamorous and chic but Sam stood out with her clearly defined Scottish accent.  These girls were HILARE from the get go.  It was a guaranteed ZERO AWKS SILENCE trip.  I shall write it now, and I am sure to write this again at some point but I have NEVER met anyone quite like Sam, she has the most incredible personality, everyone needs, and it is a NEED, a Sam in their lives.  Anyways, onwards we collected the others; Zayla and Cheeky - whom have become firm friends of mine since Thailand and into Australia and I adore them and you'll read plenty more about these two through my other blog posts. I miss them! Adi and Eva from Israel who were Mother and Daughter, beautiful people.  Alfonso, Stefano and Davide who are three Italian 'MACARONIES' who spoke very little English but as the trip went on they understood more, they were such nice boys and a lot of fun to be around and plus they shared the 'wealth' with me in the Jungle.  Not forgetting the trek guide himself, Sura (Don) who was a total gent, and was the cherry on top of a very fulfilling cake a complete gem.

Once Trekkers Assembled we went to a Butterfly farm which is very lovely, and made even more special for Joe as one of the buttterflies was infatuated with him inside the sanctuary and made love to his trainer and proceeded to ejaculate on it. YES, REALLY! A butterfly actually factually skunked on Joe's trainer. It is one of the funniest things I have ever encountered in my life.

The Butterfly Farm.

The sexually aroused Butterfly & Joe. Who or rather what wouldn't want to make sweet sweet love to Joe ('s trainer).

After the Butterfly Farm we travelled via vehicle to the start of our jungle trekking experience, and first thing was elephant riding.  It was an incredible experience that left me with a bad taste in my mouth (not literal).  You can buy bags of fruit for the elephants before you 'board' for what will be about a 45 minute journey.  I rode with Adi and Eva and it was fun mostly, I was in great company, and it was really great to get to know them more, but I didn't feel comfortable with myself 'riding' the elephant.  Each elephant comes with a walker who carry large sticks with a sharp metal end.  Anyways I rode the elephant and if I were to ever do this again, I would definitely just walk by the side of the elephant.  Once we arrived at the meeting point we got to have photos with our new Elephant friends.  It was at this point Joe & I left the group to go meet the 'Karen Long Neck Hilltribe'.  It says what it does on the tin, so to speak, these women we met were in the process of having a long neck or did already have a long neck.  They have gold rings placed around their necks on their Birthday if I recall properly, it's not from birth though.  This does actually lengthen their neck and they are actually heavy but I am sure you get used to it as you get older, they don't really know any difference I guess.  It was an experience, and worth the extra pennies to meet them and learn a bit about their lives and culture. We were able to have some photos which you can see here;

Beautiful Elephant wanting food.

Such a beautiful animal.

The Long Neck Karen Hill Tribe.

I've joined The Long Neck Karen Hill Tribe.

After the greet and meet with the Karen tribe we commenced a short trek to where we would be having lunch before the real first stage of trekking commenced.  We lunched in this bamboo cafĂ© and it had been prepared for us, it was rice and vegetables wrapped in a large green leaf of some sort to keep it warm and we had some very spicy chilli sauce to go with it.  It was seriously tasty.  Once we had lunched we started walking up the mountains of Northern Thailand, I natch was in charge of the large knife to protect the group incase of Tigers, Lions, Bears, Snakes, and/or other dangerous predatory creatures that are found in Northern Thailand.  I think we trekked about 3 or 4 hours through some rough terrain, but not too bad, and a little drink stop included. It's rather amusing to be able to buy Coca-Cola on a mountain in North Thailand. When we eventually got to our night stop and the village that we would be staying in and the view was the first thing I noticed incredible, truly stunning.  Our sleeping quarters was this large bamboo hut with mats on the bamboo floor and mosquito nets and blankets.  Dinner was prepared and cooked for us by our hosts and beer was available at a very reasonable price in a cool box - you take a beer and mark it against your name so you can settle the bill before you leave the following day. 

Zay, Cheeks, Leanne, and Joe sitting down for grub.

Lunch is served.

Selfie stick action during a break from trekking.

Throughout the day we got to know each other as a group, and as individuals. In the evening that continued, and the entertainment was from Sam and her guitar who sang some songs and we would all join in.  It really sounds like a movie plot line, it was a bit surreal.  The sun was setting, the guitar was out, not a COOMBAYAH to be heard though!! We are definitely a more relevant group.  Sam has incredible talent/s.  The gal can not just sing, she can SANG, you know?! Plus she can play the guitar. Oh I'm not sure if I have mentioned, she has been on BGT and The X Factor, plus fingers and toes crossed but she is doing well in the Big Brother 2015 rounds. As the night progressed I took some time out from the group, and I laid on the bamboo flooring of the 'balcony' and chilled for half an hour or so looking up at the stars.  I had never ever seen a night sky like it.  So vivid, I actually got lost in the stars just staring and taking in the moment.  I know this sounds quite douchey but it's true.  I saw my first shooting star, in fact I saw five and made wishes for the friends and family back home.  I really wanted my best friend, Tras, with me to experience that moment.  It was one of life's perfect moments and in that moment I knew I was in the right place at the right time.  I rejoined the group for more songs and spent the rest of the evening with them before bed.

Myself, Leanne, Adi, Sa, and Joe at our home for the evening.

Our inn for the night, high up in the mountains of Northern Thailand.

Dinner is served, made for us by such lovely tribes people. It was delishylocious.

As many of the group we could get in one picture at dinner

DAY TWO

Night one wasn't too horrif. I mean considering we were up a mountain, in the jungle, in a bamboo village surrounded by only godney knows what. I thought I had slept badly, and when I mentioned this to the others, they assured me that wasn't the case as I had woken several of them up due to my snoring. I maintain to this day; I do not snore. I. do. NOT. Snore. I think. Anyway, when I first woke up it was about 6am, some of us had discussed that we should get up for the sunrise, it was expected to be magnificent. In reality just two of us surfaced, Joe and I;

Sunrise in the mountains of Northern Thailand. How beautiful is that?!

Selfie stick in use with the sunrise for some back lighting.

Myself & Joe. We were the only ones to make it up for the sunrise. What a moment.

Obvs the sunrise required one of those 'in thought' poses.

After seeing the sunrise I had headed back to lie down for a bit before getting fully up and ready for the day ahead. Once up I indulged in the coldest and rankest shower I have ever had (actually that's not completely true...) and we enjoyed breakfast partially zombified as a group. I think it is fair to say we all reflected for a bit this morning. Jus to take in where exactly we were in the world and how far away from the realities of home we were, I certainly did. After brekkie we commenced phase one of the day and that was a trek to the first waterfall. Again a great walk that involved a drink/ice cream stop where a bunch of kids came rushing out to greet us, oh no not us, but the ice cream man. Even in the mountains of Northern Thailand the children have priorities. Leanne and I decided to do a public appeal for these children, so a video was made, I have yet to work out how to put videos on here (still!), but it is very funny, even in poor taste - the best comedy is that of poor taste, right?

When we approached the first waterfall we had to descend down to it, you could hear it before you saw it and once there it was very beautiful, not massive in any way but nevertheless beautiful. Don got straight into business by making us our cutlery for lunch, he made us chopsticks out of bamboo, for all of us. I have kept mine, genuinely impressed. The others went into the water and I was initially apprenhensive about going into the water, not being able to see what was in it etc. I took photos for the others and I eventually worked up the courage to go in as everyone was having so much fun. After a while we all got dried up and we had our lunch, it was rice wrapped in the big green leaves  again, and again it was so good. Another delicious lunch. We trekked some more to another waterfall, which was bigger and as beautiiful as the first. We all took the opportunity to go for another dip and for more photo opportunities. We were not in this one for long, oh no. As I am being bashed by the falling water, which was utterly delightful FYI, it came to our attention that there was a fucking snake. A SNAKE!!!!! SNAAAAAAKE! I turned and I could see this slithery slim long fucking snake on the ledge of the waterfall. Excuse the language but I really need to emphasise my feelings. I freezed for a period of time before it dawned on me that I was stlll in the water. I left as quick as I could. As I did so the snake fell into the water. Even Don freaked out, but later made out that it wasn't dangerous. Hmmmm. If it wasn't dangerous why the fuss? Why try and kill it? Just saying. It was definitely the most dangerous snake in the world. None of us remained in the water from that moment. 

We trekked a bit further before getting to our home for the night.  This one was within the jungle, no amazing views, we were surrounded by trees, bushes, and probably tigers. It was another combayah type of night, singing around the camp fire and playing music, we also played 'Heads Up' too, which was super funny, even more so with our MACARONIES. By this point it's fair to say we all knew each other pretty well and it was comfortable. We all slept in a large wooden hut again, I didn't sleep too well on this night.

The Jungle is Massive.

The MACARONIES, Leanne & I at the first waterfall.

Leanne, Sam, and I.

Hunks. Obvs. We're waiting for a calendar to be commissioned. 

Striking a pose at the snake infested waterfall with Adi.

DAY THREE

The following day we had brekkie which involved eggs and toast, the toast was really good, you can't really go wrong with toast. So we had a short trek to complete that day to the white water rafting. Once we got to the river and prepared ourselves for the rafting, there were other trekkers here too. Our group seperated into two teams, The British vs The Internationals. We prepared ourselves for the biggest contest since Eurovision 2014. Unlike Eurovision however, The British won the race, it wasn't an easy win though. There were tough moments, we got stuck between a rock and a hard place (another rock), we almost lost a member, JOE!, which was too funny!!! Towards the end however The Inters experienced their own personal battles which ultimately saw them defeat. Seriously though it was so much fun, I would have liked it more ferocioous for sure but it was super fun and something I would most definitely do again. Now, once this was over with we had to change from a boat to a bamboo raft. Picture this if you can, we're in a boat on a river, possibly the Kwai but who knows? The water is pure dirty, I mean you can't make out anything, the bamboo rafts were about 10 bamboos width and already had 6/8 people on them. I transferred to the bamboo allocated to me and we started to sink, our weight had not been distributed evenly or whatever, after a bit of re-jigging we started to go furthher along the river, we were in the middle of a river that was about the width of The Thames. As we were very slowly moving along the river we were also sinking. It was funny, without a doubt but all manor of disasters were going through my head, and typically as such one disaster transpired from mind to reality. ANOTHER FUCKING SNAKE. This time I had no where to escape, no where to go. The snake was about two feet away from me, having a bloody swim down the river, with its upper body just erect and all slithery. I was in sheer shock and fear. I could not believe it, seeing two snakes on this trek. One of the other trek leaders actually managed to get the snake and well the bugger had it's last breathe from what I understand. Once again they told us that the thing was harmless and once again their reactions did not coincide with their words, clearly another of the worlds most dangerous snakes. The relief I had getting on to land is unexplainable. Unexplainable. For those that don't know I am absolutely petrified of snakes, I can't even acknowledge them in a zoo or on TV. I think they are pure evil and it was actually my biggest fear going on this trek. Thankfully I survived to tell both tales, aren't you lucky! 

The British.

Once on dry land we had lunch and WIFI, yes, after two full days and a half without 3G, 4G, the little circle of death, E, or WIFI we got actual WIFI. For the first time in the trek everyone, almost, was stuck to their phones. 2014 people, 2014. (Myself included).

We travelled back to the hostel where Joe and I were greeted by Momma Noi who could see the relief, the Indiana Jones realness we were serving and gave us a couple of free beers. Tonight was our group night out to celerate our new found friendship and an opportunity to dress up and go out. First Joe and I booked another activity, this one came highly recommended by Caz & Angie when they were in CM, it was Mountain Biking, I opted for the same route as they had done and Joe and I booked that through Momma Noi for the following day.  The following day was my last full day in CM and I didn't want to waste it. 

After a rest I got ready for the night ahead as did Joe, and we headed to a cool rooftop bar just up from the hostel near to the old city walls called THC Rooftop Bar? We met Cheeky and Zayla first and the others joined with the exception of Adi and Eva. Don arrived but then went again as he was going to the boxing with the MACARONIES. After a little while we made our way to an area where there were several bars, one of them  is called Zoe in Yellow, I had heard a lot about this place, and it was rammed. We played pool at another bar round the corner. It is really from this point it becomes blurry, as expected. We ended up in a club where some Thai dude threatened my life, possibly somethng to do with mine and another man's actions on the club's dance floor. I literally have no recollection of said incidents. I owe my life to Don, I believe he managed to calm the dude down. The night was pretty epic actually. It is truly exceptional to have had a group like ours, now I am sure most groups say this but we did merge so well together. I have made life long friends from it without a doubt. As well as Joe who I basically shared my whole CM experience with. Zayla and Cheeky I have met up with numerous times here in Australia and they've elevated my experience here for sure and as soon as I return to the UK Leanne, Sam & I will meet up and hilarity will ensue.





I must have got back to the hostel at about 5am, totally wrecked and needing to be up 3 hours later for mountain biking. I woke up not feeing my best but not my worst either. I drank a lot of water. I made my way down the stairs of the hostel where I slipped and fell down the stairs, hurting the same ankle I hurt at the end of 2013. It did swell but not massively, it was tender though. It is then I should thought to myself that today would not end well. Before I go into the mountain biking, albeit not actually much to tell, I had it in my mind that it would be a slow process of going down dirt tracks on the mountain, I wasn't expecting what had actually been involved, now I can only judge it based on the ten minutes I actuallly spent on the bike. We got protective equipment such as arm/knee pads, and gloves. I got allocated my bike and I familiarised myself with it. We commenced the bike ride, I was in the same group as Joe, as well as a guy from Massachewzits I think it was, who is an alleged mountain biker himself. Now the reality of what I thught was involved was quite different. We descended the mountain on a road, a road that had gravel all over the place, it was uneven, and there were pot holes. I was hungover, and delirious, I had fallen down stairs just an hour or two prior. The initial descent was ridiculous, I was going very very fast, I was at the back of the pack and tried to slow down but not much was happening. A couple of times I thought I was going to come off the bike due to the gravel and speed. The alleged mountain biker hiimself was in front of me, all over the road, his back wheel was sliding and the gravel and dust was flying up in the air. I started to panic, and panic hard. I was scared stiff and I just couldn't seem to slow down. I reckon I was going at the very least 40mph, maybe even 50. I hadn't experienced anything like it. I couldn't slow down, my heart was racing and I was shaking, I couldn't calm myself down, there were bends and pot holes and various other obstructions. I broke, and I broke hard. Too fucking hard. The front wheel completely locked and I just went flying through the air, over the handle bars, projected across the road scraping my skin along the gravelly road, hitting my right knee and stomach and right arm all along the road. I slid for about 8 or so metres from the bike, and two metres away from the edge of the godney forsaken mountain where I would have died, no exadge. 

I was initially a bit miffed, I wasn't quiite sure what had happened, I was on my own but before I realised it some of the group had made their way back. I remember seeing blood on my right knee. I got up and sat down and rested my arms on my legs. When I stood up I saw a mass of blood on my knee from my elbow. My pads had all slipped, they were obviously not securely fastened or if they were then the force moved them. Thankfully my money maker, no not that - my face, had not been damaged. When Joe got back I was slightly delirious I think, demanding why he wasn't filming or taking photos, "Facebook Gold" I exclaimed, I may have been asking 'How's the face? The face???!?!!!!'. The tour guide washed some of my injuries, not very well I might add. After the intial shock came the pain. Oh the pain. The damned pain. I was struggling to move my right arm as well as the rest of my body. The guide initially told me that I wouldn't be completing this route - Er, NO SHIT SHERLOCK? There was a bit of a conflab as to whether I would need to go to hospital, but once I saw photos of my injuries it became apparent that is exactly what needed to happen. The guide arranged for a vehicle to take me to hospital. I left Joe to complete the rest of the day. 






Before I was taken to hospital I was taken to a coffee shop in the mountain where they grow their own coffee, it was delicious, FYI. I waited for my hospital ride for a bit. I was taken to the hospital in agony,  I couldn't position myself where I was comfortable. The driver didn't speak English but he had a nice aura about him. I eventually got to the CM Hospital where I was greeted by a staff member of the biking company who spoke English, she was lovey, and a small army of hospital staff came immediately towards me. I was treated immediately, no waiting at all. They cleaned all my injuries, of which I had five, three minor and two pretty horrif ones  - my elbow and from my elbow to my shoulder and armpit where pieces of skin had been scraped away.  The clean up process was painful.  The doctor came in and studied the worst of my injuries which  was my right elbow. He insisted I have an X Ray to look for damage.  This was again almost immediately, I waited aboout 5 minutes and I was wheeled there. The X Ray revealed no bone damage however it did show that I had a stone caught between the elbow joint. I had local aneasthetic and the doctor dug deep for treasure. I couldn't feel it which was nice. The doc excreated one stone and then a second which was a surprise. He cleaned and washed the area and started stitching me up. Silly me, I forgot the worst part of this process; THE IODINE. That brown stuff is hell, it is by far the most painful thing I have experienced, maybe beecause  it was used in five places  one of which was my elbow gash. My Godney it was horrendous. As a true modern day hero I made it through the rain (pain). The doctor ordered me to attend the hospital  the following day, my leaving day to Sydney. A morning appointment was arranged and I was directed to the pay desk. In total, plus the medication, of which I was given two antibiotics, painkiller and ibubrofen,  the hospital bill was about £250. The lady who met me at the hospital kindly took me back to my hostel, I was covered in bandages, on the back of her moped. Too soon, it was defo too soon. I arrived to the hostel and Momma Noi saw how bashed up I was and she tried to comfort me. Joe soon arrived back and explained how fantastic the ride was, he obvs had concern for me too. We went for dinner and had a much much needed quiet night in after the week we had had in CM. The following day I checked out and I had previously explained. to Momma Noi  that I needed to go back to the hospital then to the airport.  She had gone straight outside and got me a Tuk Tuk and unbeknown to me until I arrived at the hospital she had paid for it! What a lovely woman. Truly one of the few fantastic Thai people I met. I was touched. I had my wounds looked at and re-dressed. It was explained to me that after two weeks my stitches would need to come out. I left for the airport and there endeth my Thailand experience, my Thailand  journey. I boarded an Air Asia flight to Kuala Lumpur airport, which is amazing, and then I was Sydney, Australia bound.

If you made it to the end of this post I'm grateful. It's a big one! Thank you for taking the time. Please comment / share / re-blog etc.

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