The Sydney Chronicles // Part One

THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER...Right?!

I stayed in Wake Up! Hostel which is located at 509 Pitt Street, Sydney, 2000 - across the road from Central Station and its the giant building where Pitt and George Streets meet. As I have mentioned I stayed here almost four years ago when I came to see Leanne & Jo. We had such a good time then and in my mind that would transcend this time around.  However, that was not the case, this time round I was more self concious than I was before, less confident in myself and found it difficult to integrate with people and make friends. This hostel has about 700 residents and yet it's one of the loneliest places. 700 people from all corners of the world with the same common purpose yet companionship was really very hard to find.  Not that I didn't find any in my five weeks residency, I did find some gems hidden amongst the mound of bodies.

Wake Up!

In my room was three Germans, one of which was always in the room, he didn't like sydney/travelling all that much, I think he too had some difficulties and it just got the best of him.  He wasn't interested in making friends, all he was doing was counting the days down to his departure, despite my best efforts and free alcohol! The other two were a couple, Alex and Katharina, they were shy at first, I guess not too confident in their ability to speak English. My experience so far is that Germans are often found with other Germans but from the ones I have met they really want to improve on their English and actually do come out of their shell and integrate. After a day or two they were more chatty and I was keen to get to know them and help them improve their English, we quickly became friends. I had bought alcohol at the airport when I got to Sydney and thought it would be a great ice breaker in the hostel, a sort of desperate attempt to bribe some friends! I decided to crack it open one night before I was heading out out to Oxford Street, I thought it would relax my fellow roommates. Even the reclusive German got in on some vocal action, however it was limited.  

Alex & Kat became important people to me in Sydney. They were fun, interesting, young, and great to be around. We would meet for drinks, chat in the room and just hang out. I'd attempt to help out with their English, it is fair to say I'm probably not the best person to teach anyone English given my vocab is essentially Essex English, it's a thing - OK! 

 Kat, Alex & I in Side Bar which is in the basement of Wake Up! Hostel.

Over the course of our rooming we helped each other to find work, more on that further in this post. It was sad when they left the hostel, they moved to an apartment in Sydney but we did make an effort to meet up and we had our own Christmas drinkie poos. They eventually left to continue their adventure together, two of the nicest people I have met on my journey so far and we've remained in contact. I'm so pleased they have each other. I sincerely hope our paths cross in the near future. 

Over the five weeks (!) that I stayed in Wake Up various souls came and went from the room but few left any sort of effect on me, aside from Alex and Kat, there were another two, Katie and Kelly, to northern lasses. They were so much fun, so kind, sweet and great to be around. They stayed in the room for a while and a friendship blossomed. They are absolutely gorgeous girls. We had fun together at the hostel. Kelly has since gone back home but Katie is still in the country and fingers crossed we shall meet again. 

Katie, I, & Kelly in Darling Harbour waiting for the fireworks.

 The three of us on a night out.

Whilst staying at Wake Up! I met Dom who went on to become pretty much my best mate away from home. He wasn't staying in the hostel, we actually met through Grindr. For those unaware Grindr is a 'social media' app/tool that connects GBT/GBT curious guys locally, the app, with some sort of accuracy, will tell you in foot/meters how far away another user is, with the closest (not closeted - but likely anyhow) being next to you on the app screen. Now it is predominantly used for hook ups however whilst I've been away I have tried to use it to make friends in the area of a like minded-ish nature to have some sort of social life with. That's how Dom and I got talking, we were both not interested in meeting other guys for hook ups we just wanted someone to chill with. Dom remains the only person I have met from Grindr in Sydders. In Sydney especially Grindr really highlights the faults of the gay community and confirms what people think of gays, in my opinion. It's ridiculous actually. In the city, on the app, for every face picture there is 5 torso pics and headlines like 'MASC 4 MASC' 'MASC HOST' 'BTTM MASC' (the irony of which is not lost on me!). What makes me chuckle is those profiles with a torso and underwear on display then there headline is 'NOT INTO NSA' or 'FRIENDS ONLY'. Who are these folk kidding? Anyways I digress (!!!) and I could write a whole blog post on the issues with this 'social' app. Dom remains the only person I've met from Grindr here because no one else has been interested in just hanging out and going for a beer etc. I should state that Grindr does have its uses and not everyone on it is a tool, I'm just generalising.

Dom and I are very different people. Dom is a now 22yo German lad and I am obvs an older Brit. We both view the world differently but it can be a good thing for two different people to collaborate. We bickered a lot over our few months together but ultimately we got on well and we did have some fun in the city. It's hard not to sound patronising and what I said at the time and what I say now in my blog doesn't come from a negative or patronising place but the differences were so apparent between Dom and I. I hope we have learnt some things from each other. 9 years is not a big age gap, even less so when you consider the 'culture' I surround myself, I figure I'm on a wave length of about a 15yo! However I think what I have done is forgotten what I was like as a 21yo. Although I don't think I was ever sure of anything, still not, but my outlook is very wide on life, probably through personal experiences, certainly through work life, these are things Dom has yet to experience and ultimately these were where our issues lied.  Our friendship did grow but the lines blurred somewhat between us and it actually became a difficult/frustrating friendship. We pretty much did everything together with some exceptions and it became a bit too much towards the end and we decided it was best to just stop what we were doing and just go back to being mates and just mates towards the end of his trip and that was the definitely the best thing for us. I'm a line wolf really and I think I lost a bit of my identity and assurance that I could do things on my own. This was an issue of mine and not one made by Dom. I like my own company and during our time together I think I felt like I lost it a bit, my own fault by own decisions. What I will say now is that I owe a big chunk of my Sydney experiences to him, we had a laugh and he's such a nice guy and in many ways old before his time, he is someone I will actively stay in contact with and I wish him the absolute best from life and self happiness. There'll be more about Dom and I as the blog continues. 

Just a few snaps of Dom & I.

One of my favourite pictures of us from one of our many nights out.

Now is probably a good time to touch on JOBS and the hunt for which, which is not dissimilar to hunting the Sasquatch I imagine. Who'd have thunk it? A big city in a very developed country yet very little work around. Maybe it's arrogance or just an idealistic thought but I didn't think it would be as hard as it was to find work given my background in Policing, and way back when in Retail/Catering - I was so very wrong. The struggle is real and it's manifested in Sydders. I should sit down and count how many jobs I applied for, I could actually do it given I have the emails etc. maybe by the time this blog is ready for publish I'd have done it. (Ed - I haven't) Anyways....there are A LOT of jobs to apply for yet very very few come to anything. 

Alex & Kat told me about an opportunity for some work with an Australian Children's Cancer Charity, we went along to the open meeting where they told us about the role which was basically selling reindeer antlers for the charity, it meant working in various locations and with other people, mostly backpackers. Dom came to the open meeting but he had already made his decision that he was not going to do this job. Dom was more self concious than I and when it came to wearing reindeer antlers it was just too much for him. Obviously a great thing to do for a great cause but once I found out that just 20% of the money went to the Charity itself I was turned off.  I worked a fair few shifts and got around the suburbs out of Sydney which was interesting to see. Its incredible realising just how ignored these folk who do these roles are. It has made me approach them differently, even just an acknowledgement would improve their day tenfold. I started with Alex and Katharina and they continued to do the full 4 weeks with the charity.

Clearly loving life...

My last shift with the charity was the same day as the Sydney Siege. Although my last shift and that incident wasn't exclusive to why I left the job however I had been posted in Martin Place in Sydney's CBD this very day; 16th December 2014. I was about 200 metres away from the incident when it happened, although I was blissfully unaware at the time what was happening until the surge of Police descended on to the Lindt Café. I still at that point didn't know what was happening but it was obvious, this was not good. Various retail units and coffee houses were shutting their doors, and one female at a coffee house told me there was a terrorist situation going on and that I should go inside or leave the area. I went online and there was nothing reported initially. 

Picture the scene. There I am standing, holding a coin collection bucket, about 50 foam reindeer antlers, green and red in colour, wearing two of these antlers on my head, blank/confusion expression on my face, probably my normal face hey?! Police all around Martin Place, shops shutting and literally chaining the doors so they're securely locked with staff and customers inside. There I am just standing there not really knowing what to do. It was a bit intense, I called the guys running the fundraising and they were aware of the situation and said I could stay if I wanted or go else where or head back to the office. Needless to say, but imma say it anyway, I didn't raise hardly any funds in Martin Place at this point. I decided to walk through the city. This very morning there had been a suspect package at Sydney's Opera House too. There was a very distinct shift in the atmosphere around the city, as I was walking away from Martin Place heading south through Pitt Street and Pitt Street mall. Cops were running around, police radios going off and sudden change of direction from them. It was very strange to be in that scenario. Instinctively I wanted to assist in some way. Having been in the police for almost a decade in London, my instincts are not to run away from trouble but to get involved, assist in diffusing the situation, that's what I'm trained in doing and that's what I got paid to do. I had to go against my instincts on this occasion. I'm not going to lie, the whole thing was pretty scary. Rumours circulating that there were other threats elsewhere. By this point the news corps had got hold of the story and they were running the terrorist angle on it. I got back to the office and handed over what little money I made and the remaining antlers and I left never to return. I went back to the hostel and just sat watching the news for the rest of the day as the Lindt Café was now a hostage scene with staff and customers trapped inside. The events that unfolded were tragic. People lost their lives and those that survived will have been scarred for life. Incredibly sad. Martin Place became a memorial site in the days after the event where people, myself included, went to pay their respects and lay down flowers. It was really breath taking and upsetting to see the outpouring of support and grief from the Sydney community.

The outpouring of grief was quite a sight to behold. The way the city came together on the day and the days after the incident will never be forgotten.

The job hunt continued... Dom and I got another job with a leaflet distribution company. The 'interview' was a little ridiculous, it was basically just assumed that everyone had the job, no questions asked. This was my longest job in the city but it was badly paid, naturally, and it was hard work. You'd think it wouldn't be, walking around and delivering leaflets, how hard can that be right? You'd be wrong, as was I. Most shifts would find you walking constantly for about 4/5 hours on average, sometimes longer and rarely shorter. If you've never been to Sydney or the outer suburbs, or even just NSW generally speaking, let me tell you, it is not a flat area. It's unreal how hilly it is, how mountainous it is. We are also talking December here, which is the summer, and it gets very hot. On average I would be walking 10miles a shift I would say, in 30+ degree heat, carrying x amount of kilos on my back. But hey dem bills need paying!!! 

Just to re-emphasise this, it was hard work. The pay for this was based on the size of map you got. When we went for our interview they said that there were three types of maps; Small / Medium / Large. The smallest map would be $55 to complete with one leaflet, $65 with two and $80 with three leaflets. I worked with these people for over three months and I only ever got a small map, on the very odd occasion it would take two hours, but mostly 4/5 hours and sometimes 6/7 hours. Yet they claimed the maps were of similar size. I only ever got paid for small maps. Needs must though. I wasn't prepared to go cap in hand back home for help, this journey/adventure was for me to achieve on my own, regardless of what comes my way. Naturally if my dollar wasn't stolen in Thailand I wouldn't have needed to do these kinds of jobs but it was and in order to live and have some sort of enjoyment I needed to do this job until I found other, substantial, but allusive work. My Dad and Brother offered me help in ways of financial assistance but I declined, a time would have come where I would have needed it but I wanted to hold out. 

The guys who run the leaflet business were atrocious. Really unorganised, rude, and dismissive of the distributors. You couldn't guarantee that you'd have work everyday, or even most days. It required me to be very proactive with them. I'm amazed I worked with them for so long given that I had a couple of big stand up arguments with a couple of the guys running the operation. I was the only person to stand up for themselves. I wasn't going to take the shit they ploughed on others, I tried to stand up for anyone that was being taken advantage of. In the end it was clear that the whole situation was not working. I don't lose my temper easily and it's not a good sign when I'm rather loudly causing a scene in public with the so called supervisors using expletives to carry my point. Ultimately it's not a job I would recommend to anyone but if times are hard then do it. The other side of it was that I lost a whole bunch of weight, I went down to about 12st 6lbs (78KG), the lowest I have been weight wise since I was in high school. I lost just over a stone in weight. I can report that I'm putting the weight back on in, in a healthy manner now. 

Whilst doing the leaflet drops I was also still applying for jobs online and in person. There was a lot of work about but it was very specific for certain skills. As a Police Officer back in the UK for sometime I've gained a lot of skills but they're not very job specific outside of the police. My customer service skills are second to none however I think people are turned off to a degree when they see Police on my CV. I got a job interview for a call centre job, this was to raise funds for a charity and it involved warm calling (calling previous donors) and cold calling.  This was my first proper job interview in about 9 years. I was pretty nervous, and when I'm nervous I swear a lot. A LOT. I was wearing a pale blue shirt and the sweat patches were repugnant, the more I was noticing the patches the more I was sweating. To make matters worse their air con was broken. Despite my revolting appearance they still hired me. They were intrigued by my police background and just talked to me about what I did in the police. I worked with them for 8 days before they got rid of a whole bunch of people they had hired. It was pretty hard. I started of well, raising quite a bit of money but it quickly went south and I struggled to raise hardly anything towards the end. I raised a few thousand for the. In the short time I worked there. Really difficult making so many calls and getting knocked back almost immediately for most of them.

I then went back to leaflet dropping. I always went back to leaflet dropping. Le sigh.

In the Thailand jungle I met Zayla and Cheeky, I spoke about them in a precious blog. Well they had come to Sydney in December and we met up. More about that in a future blog post but when they were in the city they got a few days work sorting some product recall for an airline. Anyways, Zay called me up one day after they had left the city and asked if I needed some work as the bloke she got the job with before and had called saying he needed help for some further work. My number was passed and I got work near the airport in a warehouse for about 7 days. Paid OK and it was pretty straightforward work. I worked with some Finnish girls and another British guy for the most part of it. The girls are Jenna, Suvi, Tuulia & Emilia. Regulars will remember how I met some Finnish people, particularly Miiko in Thailand back in November, and he stood out as a character that I've met, well I hadn't actually met any other Finnish people since then until these girls. They have cemented their places in my heart. We became very good friends very quickly. They were so much fun to be around. There were no issues with language, their English was exceptional, as was their sense of humour, they seem to get me which few people do really,meek without thinking that I'm a bit weird. Work was a breeze with them, once the work finished we hung out a bit and had drinks. They've since left and I'm gutted. I had left the city for Kiama but I got to spend one last night out with them before they headed off to whatever was coming next. I miss them and I will absolutely be heading to Finland at some point. 

❤️ FINLAND! Tuulia, myself, Emilia, & Suvi!

Fooling about in the pool.

The job basically involved going through airline packs that contained; socks, toothbrush etc. a complaint had been made by a customer that the pen in the pack had a rival airline logo on it which then required us to go through all the packs to check the pens in them and then re-seal them in a production line manner. After the work ended we stayed in contact whilst we were in the city, albeit staying in different parts. That was probably the best job I did whilst staying in the city.

Serving tradie realness. 

The packers! Great group! Tuulia, Jenna, Emilia, Chris, & ???

Through this work I got an opportunity to work in a coffee shop/café where Suvi, one of the Finnish girls, worked as a barista was leaving and they required someone else. I got a shift there after an initial meeting with the owners mother. She was a Thai lady, seemed pretty sweet. So on my first, and transpired to be my only shift, she tells me two hours before I was due to finish that I was only being paid $50 for a day's work, 8 hours work. I kicked off naturally, and she ended up paying me $80 and I never got asked back....wonder why....I was furious, they were clearly taking advantage of backpackers, and I'm not a typical backpacker, I will stand up and be heard when someone is going to take the absolute piss. I didn't want to go back there to work anyway after that but anything really was better than leaflet dropping, which I just kept going back too. As I said before, needs must. 

I even put an ad for myself on Gumtree, not just once but twice. Advertising my assistance in anything reasonable. I did this on recommendation, I had met a few people who had done it and got some casual gardening work for people amongst other things. I posted a few photos and my working background. I didn't get any 'serious' offers, none that I considered serious, however I'm sure the guys that messaged me were serious about their offers. I got various messages about cleaning their houses, massages, sexual relief. Needless to say I wasn't THAT desperate. 

I'm happy to write I am currently in employment and there'll be more of that in a future blog post but I should state that I am loving my job.

The next chapter of my Sydney Chronicles will be more activity based. There will be more about Dom, Zay & Cheeky, Matt & Vince, my birthday, Christmas and particular focus on Sydney at Christmastime in the summer. 

As always thanks for reading! X

TROUBLE IN PARADISE // OBVS

WEEK ONE 

I arrived at Sydney Kingsford-Smith Airport (named after Sir Charles Kingsford Smith who was a pioneer in Australian aviation) on 30th November 2014. I arrived with anticipation, excitement, fear, anxiety, hope and an immense amount of pain (courtesy of Chiang Mai mountain biking). The flight was smooth and comfortable considering it was an Air Asia flight and up until recently I had only discovered they have one of the worst safety records in public aviation. I had paid about £270 for the one way flight from Bangkok to Sydney via Kuala Lumpur, and I had paid a bit extra for a quiet section of the plane. A very good price. Asia are pretty hot on low budget long haul flights, something that is coming over to the west with airlines like Norwegian Air. There were no screens, entertainment, or goody bags. Everything has a price, including all food and drinks. I prepaid and preordered my food when I booked my flight, speaking of which the food was pretty good. I had my iPad, my iPhone and a couple of magazines, I was pretty sorted on entertainment but if you don't have such items the airline allows you to rent iPads which are preloaded with TV shows, Movies, Music, and games on.

I arrived in the morning and made it through security and customs unscathed, no Border Control filming was going on, it turns out I would have to wait for my Australian television debut for Bondi Rescue no doubt (turns out that my television debut was not from Bondi Rescue but partially Eurovision and soon to be Food Safari - both SBS broadcasts). Whilst waiting for my baggage a member of airport staff was coming to check our completed immigration and Ebola forms. I had ticked a box about being in a remote area due to the jungle trekking. I was challenged on this, and you know that feeling where you know you've done nothing wrong but someone of some importance and power questions you and your heart basically falls out of your bum hole nevertheless, well yeah that was kind of it.  A bit ridiculous given that I am a man of some sort of power at home, not that I abuse it of course, but you know people do have this uncomfortable and nervous look about them when talking to you. The officer was asking me about my choice of footwear in the jungle and clothing and whether these had been washed etc... all formalities that they go through. Australia are concerned, rightly so I should say, about contamination of some sort crossing their borders. I made it through that encounter unscathed and collected my baggage, just about, I managed to drag it with one hand, baring in mind I am carrying about 30kgs of uneven distributed weight. Armed with a trolley, my baggage and my sense of trepidation I proceeded through the 'Nothing to Declare' corridor and made it out to a sea of welcoming faces. Somewhere out there was one special welcoming face, arms and voice, my dear friend Camilla. I've known Camilla for a number of years, we worked together when I first joined the Metropolitan Police as a PCSO about 9 years ago. I have remained in contact with her once she left for the Australian sunshine and I visited her 3 and half years ago when she lived in Canberra & I went to Australia on a holiday to see Leanne and Jo who were travelling for three months.

There Camilla was, so happy to see me and I her, armed with compassion and concern due to my injuries but not too much so as one of the first things she said to me was that she was going to keep me awake all day, just so I could be aided into the right time zone, not that there is anything that can prepare for that transition. I had had a night flight from SE Asia and it was about 11am when I met Camilla. I was down for whatever, I was just happy and relieved that I was finally here after months and months of dreaming and not quite believing I would actually make it here. I always said to people prior to going that I wouldn't believe I would be doing it until I stepped foot on Australian soil, as there was no going back at that point. I had prearranged with Camilla that I would be staying with her for 6 days to settle in before heading to the city (Sydney) and thankfully I did do that. Due to my injuries I would have really struggled on my own in a hostel, and I think we all can share that common feeling of when you are unwell or in my case injured, you crave support or the care of someone you're close to. Camilla had pretty much my first week planned loosely with a number of 'must dos'. Camilla was more than just the support I needed physically but also the support I needed for administration purposes. Things like the medicare card, driving licence, bank accounts, tax file number, and mobile phone set ups. Camilla had been through this process herself and has assisted others in the past also.

We had arrived in Kiama, NSW, where Camilla and her husband, Steve, live. I had been here the last time I came to Australia, prior to C & S moving here and at the time the town wasn't on their radar. Camilla had taken Leanne, Jo and I back to Sydney from Canberra several years ago and we stopped in Kiama to see the 'Blow Hole' - a bit more about that later. I settled myself into their beautiful renovated home and relaxed for the rest of the day, we took the boys (Hugo and Taco - the Dogs) out for a walk. I knew from previous experience that the jet lag would be hard to overcome, I suffer with it badly.  When I think of jet lag now I in turn think of Dorothy Wang (Realty TV star/LA socialite) and what she once said about it, she describes jet lag something that the poor or the lesser travelled person only suffers with. Always makes me chuckle a bit. My first week was relaxing with the exception of having to open up my dressings, cleaning them with the forsaken IODINE and then redressing. Camilla did this for me in the first week. I completed the administration jobs with Camilla with ease. I will write a further post in due course with handy tips for people who are coming to Australia and just don't know where to start when it comes to the admin side of things, it can be a tad daunting if you're doing a Jason Derulo (riding solo).

It was on my second day in Australia, 1st December 2014, that I logged on to www.cashpassport.com to reload my cash passport with my November's pay packet in my UK account. When I logged in it came to my notice that I was in a minus figure. I could not compute. It didn't make sense as I hadn't used it as I had been in Thailand and I had an entirely different cash passport for my Thailand trip.  As far as I was concerned I thought I couldn't use the Aussie one aside from in Australia. I had about $2,500AUD on this card and now it was minus. I looked at the transaction history and I saw that just two transactions had been made, both on 19th November 2014 and one transaction straight after the other. They were taken from a Chiang Mai hostel. A hostel which I had not booked or even heard of, the hostel I was due to stay in was completely different and besides for $2,500 you could own a bloody hostel in CM or rather live there for about 3 years. My heart sank, literally sank, it felt like it had not just sank but it had taken the rest of my organs on it's way down and just my sphincter was keeping it in my ass. Graphic I know but just imagine that feeling nevertheless. I was devastated, it was half of my savings. I wanted to not worry about looking for work immediately when I arrived, I wanted to relax a bit, do some experiences, tour the city and casually look for work. Everything I wanted to do was now officially on hold. Soon after devastation came the anger. I was enraged. 

Now, I don't know if you know anything about cash passports? Well, they are advertised as the safer way to take your currency abroad. It is a prepaid Mastercard with your chosen currency, so you can make use of a great exchange rate on credit card without incurring charges from your bank or even a poorer exchange rate. I have always experienced problems with them, for example; you can't withdraw every penny/cent if you use it to purchase items online or in store as there will come a time where you can't withdraw $20 or less. Also, most ATM's charge for withdrawal. The online registration process is not user friendly at all, even less so when you have two different cash passports.  Another thing is that when you purchase your cash passport, like I did from TRAVELEX, if the cashier doesn't enter the details correctly from your form on to the system then that brings another set of problems. I was soon to find out just how difficult the process was going to be when a cash passport had been used fraudulently. Even writing about the issues connected with CP's tires me.

I contacted TRAVELEX to dispute these transactions. I was concerned as these transactions occurred on 19th November and it was now 1st December. I had no reason to check my cash passport account online until I got to Australia, although whilst away in Thailand I got paid from work in the UK and I very nearly 'topped up' the CP and then I'd have had no money at all. TRAVELEX emailed me a dispute form and explained that I should also forward any evidence that would assist in their investigations. I challenged the person on the telephone to a few issuues;

1. How has someone got away with two large transactions to the same place one straight after the other?

2. How was it able to take me over the available funds? (after all it is not a credit card nor a debit card with an overdraft facility)

3. Why didn't this get flagged up as unusual activity? 

4. Why was the transactions authorised and funds removed?

The staff member on the phone wasn't able to clarify answers on all of these questions, they explained that it's not monitored like a bank card, it's our money basically to spend how we wish. So already I fail to see how the cash passport is any safer than taking your own bank card? So I completed the form, in it the basics of course are noted and they request a explanation as to how the card could have possibly been used fraudulently and where/what/who/how/when/why details. All this was fine. I knew that it had been used on the 19th November, I also knew I still had both cards in my possession. You loyal readers will already know that on said date I was traveling from Bangkok to Pai via Chiang Mai. What I recall from the journey is that I had my valuable personal effects on me in my rucksack.  I fell asleep on the bus, my rucksack was padlocked, I got off the bus for twenty minutes and the bus was locked, and when I got my iPad out of my bag at about 4am on 20th November the zip broke, I had thought that this was my doing due to over packing and I didn't think anything of it. So in my train of thought at the time of completing my form that this is when the card must have been used. I completed the form and scanned it, I sent three emails in the end to TRAVELEX, due to the evidence I was submitting. In my first email I attached the completed form and wrote that this was the first of three emails, the other two includes my evidence. Due to the time difference I would not hear back until the following day, at least, or so I thought. Just four hours later I received this reply;

"I regret to inform you that after careful consideration we were unable to refund the disputed charges on your account. Please refer to the contents of the attached letter." - The letter basically states that they didn't believe me, and that they were not satisfied with the validity of the claim. In the very same email the 'investigator' states;

"We didn't receive a second email with evidences and pictures as advised in your first email" - So instead of replying to me and stating that they did not receive such evidence and asking me to resend, they took it upon themselves to close the investigation at that point. Not even basic customer service skills covered here.

So naturally I resent everything. This time I got automated responses for each email I sent ensuring that they had been received. I received nothing back. Not a thing. My next step was to take to twitter, I sent tweets to TRAVELEX, about ten in total. Someone from the social media team responded and the issue was relayed. I received an email from someone else explaining that a decision had been made by the disputes team and that if I had not been notified of this then they would resend the letter. This was literally like smashing my money maker against brick wall. This came after two days of not hearing anything from them. The investigation was then eventually passed on to the disputes of disputes team, basically the team that deals with challenges of the decision that the first dispute team made. I continued to resend all my evidence as well as extra bits that I had left out the first time around. At this point I made a point of explaining that I am a Police Officer, and that I had investigated various Fraud offences and I know what is involved, and not only that but if I was committing fraud would I have really valued my career at the amount stolen? No. I wanted to avoid playing this card because it is a bit douchey however given their treatment towards me thus far, I was raring to play the whole deck, I wanted them to know that they will not be able to palm me off.

This money REALLY mattered. This whole experience with TRAVELEX has caused a ridiculous amount of stress, loss of sleep, worry, tears, fear, my anxiety issues raised it's ugly head more than usual. It turned out over the coming weeks and months JUST how much that money mattered, due to the lack of work, the expense of living in Sydney etc etc.

The new investigation was commenced on 4th December 2014. It was due to conclude on 24th February 2015. So I knew I had quite some time without the money at least, besides early on I talked myself into the fact I would not see it again. Thankfully I had money in my UK account to get me by, and I had prepaid for my 5 weeks accommodation in my Sydney hostel. The issue I had using my UK account was that the bank charges you a fee for withdrawals and usage, but you also don't get the best exchange rate, which does matter when it's large amounts of money. Nevertheless I had no choice and it was light relief that I had some sort of funds. I contacted the chap from TRAVELEX who was investigating early January, after a no reply, I tried again and he replied, he explained that he had not heard from the merchant that took the money and that a charge back process was being conducted. 24th February arrived and I sent a polite email checking in. It was explained that the merchant did eventually reply and provided further details of the transactions and that it would take a further 10 working days to look into, 9th March 2015. On 4th March it was requested I sent a copy of my drivers licence and passport for verification, which I did, it would take another 48 hours. This time had elapsed to the 9th March where I was asked to view a document which had two receipts on it, I was asked if they were my signatures, I explained that they weren't. I asked the investigator to call me, which he did. It was actually a relief to finally speak to the person handling the situation. I was able to clear up, hopefully, any confusion. Turns out that both my cash passport cards were used, but not the PIN numbers. He confirmed that the actual cards had been used, as in the chips had been read on both of them. We couldn't understand how that was when I wasn't in Chiang Mai at the time yet I have the cards on me. Still don't understand this. Anyway, he believed me and the funds have been returned to me. I received them on 16th March 2015. Actual factual relief. 

My point here is NEVER use a Cash Passport. It is much safer to use your credit card or bank card. The banks and financial institutions know your spending pattern, they recognise unusual activity and if fraud is committed you are likely to get the money back within hours, not months. I still fail to see how a cash passport is safer. I am continuing to escalate the issue with TRAVELEX and complain regarding their initial handling of my situation.

The saga continues, slightly, when they card was fraudulently used it actually took me over the available amount on the card, because of this the company sent the details of my account to a debt collecting agency who were making demands via letter to my UK home address to pay. This has had a negative impact on my credit rating in the UK and I was only aware of this when Mum sent me all my mail from the UK over to Australia.

I appreciate the above makes for pretty boring reading however it is important to highlight the negative side of using cash passports and also the incompetency of a major company who runs them.  

My first week into Australian life involved a fair amount of recuperation and relaxation after the eventful times in Thailand. It was definitely much needed. Camilla & I walked the dogs every day, usually in different places; Minnamurra, Bombo, Jervis Bay, and Kiama of course. Bombo is a place near to Kiama where dogs are allowed on the beach. Taco is hilarious, he has no qualms about getting into the sea a bit and chases the waves and tries to eat them. Hugo is an old boy (15yrs) so he is not so adolescent but he does what he bloody well wants to, if he wants to go into the sea he will do it in his own time. It is such a beautiful beach, yellow sand, and the sea has some big waves and whenever I have gone past on the train it has always got several people just waiting to catch the next big surf. Unbeknownst to me at this stage I would find myself back in Kiama...

Here are some photos of my first week in Australia;

Camilla & I in Minnamurra. Really beautiful part of the South Coast.

Kiama Lighthouse - very near to the Kiama 'Blow Hole' - a hit with tourists and No! I'm not the new Blow Hole, you filthy buggers.

Minnamurra.

 An injured me in front of Kiama's Lighthouse with Taco & Hugo.

I actually took more photos than this in my first week, other than the Lighthouse and Minnamurra but not sure what I've actually done with them.

Camilla was concerned about me moving into a hostel in Sydney. When you think of hostels you clearly don't think of boutique guest houses, you do think; grotty, disgusting, repugnant and smelly, maybe thats a bit of an ancient view point to take.... Given my inability to be able to look after myself without something going wrong, concern really wasn't a far fetched feeling to have. I assured Camilla I would be OK and that if I wasn't I would come back. I had stayed at the hostel before and from previous experience, it wasn't any of the words I used above to describe the common thoughts of hostels. Obviously that was near on four years ago, a lot can change in that time. Camilla drove me into the city and dropped me to the hostel door which was very kind of her, but that's C through and through. 

I met C again later that day at the hairdressers she uses on Oxford Street. Those that know me well will know that my hair is probably the most important part of my 'look'. When you find an amazing barber/hairdresser you stay loyal. Mine at home was Pall Mall Barbers (@pallmallbarbers on Insta and Twitter // Pall Mall Barbers on FB) - they are sensational. I used to travel into central London especially for my cut and my last one before arriving to Australia was 5 weeks ago and it was the day before I left. So naturally I was in dire need for a fresh cut and there was no way on Godney's green Earth I was going to have on in Thailand ( ed - tattoo yes, haircut no!? Dafuq). Anyways I've digressed yet again. I met C and the owner gave me a great cut actually, I'm not usually a fan of hairdressers as they cut and style differently to a barber. New hair, new me....right?! 

I remember parting with C at the hairdressers, and I remember too well that feeling of 'Fuck my life' it's just Steve vs Sydney. Thoughts took me to back to the days where I was stuck in my office at work in London, in a job I had lost my purpose in, in a team who didn't know what my purpose was either, dreaming of what was to come and life on the other side of the world. It really hit me at this point that I was actually where I was and that I achieved the very first thing I denied myself 3 years prior. 

So armed with my fresh look, a weak bank balance, and various ailments that would get me a blue badge for my car in the UK I took to Sydney's streets as a lone wolf searching for his pack...

Food for Thought: Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

MAX EHRMANN

Kenickie sent me this poem to read whenever I was feeling down or going through some hard times, of which was a guarantee at some point. It's a beautiful poem that actually really has resonated with me on more than one occasion whilst I've been away from home, friends, family and familiarity. I shall continue to share my journey via the medium of this blog, Instagram, Twitter and occasionally Facebook, however this blog will be the home of complete honesty. My blog will naturally feature the best, the average, and the hard times I have experienced and, of course, what I'm yet to experience. 

This has been a difficult process for several reasons, but in a totally different way than my life at home. Some battles I've taken with me from Essex and I will hopefully leave behind when I go back. What you see on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter is really just a one sided view of my time away, it's not all beach, sunshine, tans, and men!

I want to share this poem with you, whether you're travelling, or going through pure shit in life, take in the words of Max Ehrmann;

"With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

                       

THAILAND // A RETROSPECT

I had a little under four weeks in Thailand, there were many many highs, but a few lows, which is to be expected I guess. It's been almost four months since I was in Thailand and hindsight is beautiful, you tend to forget the shit that happens and your mind focuses on the good. In my next blog post I will write about the fact that someone in Thailand stole $2,500 AUD from my Aussie Cash Passport, four months on and this has only just been resolved, this effected the start of my Australia Adventure tremendously. Obviously my injuries impacted the start of Australia too, of which there complications involving a return to hospital here in Sydney. The stress of BKK took a while to leave me, and I am not sure I will ever go back, but then I now know what to expect, they say your second time is much better. The highs were were HIGH though. I think about the time I spent in Koh Samui, Koh Tao and the first two days in BKK. sure Koh Samui suffered one shitty night but that's no where near enough to taint the experience. I grew much closer to old friends, and in the process made new friends and they are still in my life despite being half a world away and these are friendships that will only grow. Not forgetting the time I spent with Finn who I absolutely adore, he is such a cheeky boy and funny. 

The good things to come out of BKK? Well it wasn't ALL bad, I met a lovely bloke called Damien in my hostel, the most unfriendliest hostel that exists I am sure! A young Aussie guy who is totally chilled, as you'd expect, and a total laugh, especially under the influence. As soon as I make my way up towards Brisbane he will be getting called.

Chiang Mai is definitely on my list of places I want to return too. There are activities outstanding that I want to give a go. I want to go back to Baan Khun Hostel, I can absolutely see why it was the most well rated hostel in CM. 

IF YOU DON'T STAY HERE WHEN VISITING CHIANG MAI THEN YOU ARE STUPID. Just saying.

I met Joe, who is also in Australia now, albeit over on the West side. A very very decent bloke, I basically shared my CM experience with him and as a strange turned companion turned friend I couldn't want for more. A lot of fun was had with him. Whilst I'm on it, check out his blog and Insta....

INSTAGRAM // @jdgls

BLOG // http://jdgls.me

The jungle trek, literally the only thing I was sure I wanted to do in Thailand did not disappoint. I would have paid a lot more than £30 for that experience. It really is a MUST DO. I surprised myself, after all this whole experience of travelling a lot about pushing your personal boundaries and limits - putting yourself to the test, right? I made some firm friends, especially two who have been a big part of my Australian Adventure, Zay and Cheeks. I've shared experiences here and there with them and I cannot wait to share more with them. 

Thailand is an incredible place. Would I go back? Chiang Mai for sure, and Koh Tao (3 days is not enough). If I was thinking about an Asian adventure I would be thinking the countries that surround Thailand, and I would definitely dip into and out of Thailand but it is not my recommendation to have that as your primary destination.

I will forever smile when I think of Thailand. Ain't no shitty experiences going to turn that upside down!

CHIANG-OVER

Chiang Mai - 23/11/2014 - 29/11/2014

Arrived in Chiang Mai.

I travelled for three hours on a public bus to Chiang Mai from Pai at a wallet busting cost of 150baht (that's a whole £3!) and just like the journey to Pai, it consisted of a long and winding road through the Northern Thailand mountains.  Once in Chiang Mai (CM) I had not a clue where I was just like in BKK however the very clear difference was the lack of people trying to get me to go with their taxi or tuk tuk.  I found a tuk tuk on the main road, a large van as opposed to the very nifty little machines in BKK. 100baht (£2) and a 30 minute diverted journey later and I arrived at my hostel, Baan Kunt Hostel, I should say formerly, it is now known as Baan Khun - but you can see why I picked this place! Loyal readers will be aware that Kunt is not something that literally intices me, just the word/phrase.  I must point out also that I booked this hostel on www.hostelworld.com and it was the highest rated/reviewed hostel in CM.  The hostel is located just outside the old city, so perfect for the inner city needs.

CM's old city is surrounded by an old wall that follows it around in a square, there is also a moat that surrounds this part of the city which separates the two way traffic that also follows the old city around.  

City map of Chiang Mai.

Sunday 23/11/2014

When I arrived at the hostel I received a very warm welcome from Momma Noi (owner), there is a very clear family vibe amongst the staff here.  As you walk into the hostel you have to remove your footwear, which is very common in Asian culture, and you walk through the tour/activity store before reaching the hostel reception. A guy was checking in, in front of me, his name was Henry,from England, and funnily enough worked at St George's Hospital in Tooting, which is part of my patrolling patch at work in London. Very nice chap and we did casually arrange to meet for a beer or two that night but it wasn't to be, we made up for it the following day though. I checked in and my stay there for 6 nights equated to £4 a night, yes FOUR ENGLISH POUNDS A NIGHT! I got to my room and started to unpack when I met one of my roomies, Joe, from Scotland, who too had arrived that day.  We chatted a bit and it turned out that we wanted to do a few similar activities in and out of the city. Another chap, a German guy - unfortunately his name has escaped me, also came into the room, a young and friendly fellow.  He wanted to explore the city that evening, as it was the famous CM Sunday Market, and so we went together.  

When approaching the CM Sunday Market it is apparent almost immediately why it is so famous and popular. I have never seen a market like this one before, it was HUGE, I mean seriously big, not only that but it was super busy, the setting for it was beautiful, it was dark, fairy-type lights along the stalls, the aroma of incredible street food filling the air around the whole place.  The CM Sunday Market starts or ends just outside of the gates into the old city and then squeezes in to the gates and goes through the heart of the old city where it then just spreads across ancient streets into temple grounds, and into the nooks and crannies of the old city.  It is pretty well organised, not so much the public but the layout, food sections, clothing sections, arts, crafts, gifts etc. There were street performers, artists, and all the items you can imagine at all kinds of prices; tacky gifts, luxurious furniture, stunning paintings, bizarre masks, lanterns, just too many to write down.  If you ever get to CM, then this Sunday Market really is a complete must.  

Walking around this incredible market reaffirmed to me that THIS was the Thailand I was expecting. I enjoyed some street food as I walked around, it has to be impossible not too, the smells I tell you THE SMELLS! Oooft. I ate, I walked, I tried to take the atmosphere, the scenery, the people, the chaos and everything else in but writing it here is difficult, there is no words that can truly describe the experience. Superb.

Chiang Mai Sunday Market.

The friendly German guy & I.

Monday 24/11/2014

The following day I got chatting to Joe about our plans for the CM experience, we both wanted to do the Jungle Trek. We spoke to Momma Noi at the hostel's excursions store and we arranged to do a three day jungle trek starting on Tuesday 25/11.  Our trip included a special visit to the Karen Long Neck Hill tribe and the cost was a ridiculous bargain, around £30 for the three days, the price is amazing given what is included in the experience for it as you'll read shortly. I also saw Henry this morning and he, Joe and I decided to go for a walk around the city.  I was armed with my iPad, as it had my Lonely Planet guide on it which has a walking tour of the city inside it;

Chiang Mai Old City Temple Tour. 

We decided to follow the route the LP guide suggests and it's pretty straight forward to follow and includes all the 'major' Temples. We went to them all, and I think it's fair to say, as I am sure I already have in this blog, that once you've seen one Temple you've pretty much seen them all, barring the odd jaw dropper, which is precisely why you can't miss one, there are some truly mind blowing structures. However as mentioned before my issue here is that there is near on NO information in English to explain the significance of each Temple/Buddha.  One of the temps actually has a Monk Chat session which is great, I did want to do it but the monks were all in session.  We popped into the odd shop as we walked around, I picked up some valium in a chemist, as you do, mildly amusing what prescription meds you can get over the counter in one country and not another.  I wanted to be able to sleep on the jungle trek and on the plane to Australia - I actually have only taken one and it was not on the jungle trek, nor was it on the plane to Australia, it did work a right treat though! The three of us clearly deserved the injection of some light refreshments in our life by the end of our tour. We went for some uber cheap food, which was delishylocious as I had come to expect in Thailand. After food we went to a bar, the name of which escapes me, and from about 1400hrs we basically just got pissed untiil about 0100hrs...... I think, all in the same bar.  We played killer pool for about as long, which FYI - I really impressed myself with my ability and pure skillllllz, I'm pretty sure Henners and Joe thought I was fluking. It was a very funny day/night, the best are usually unplanned though right? Henry and Joe took over my Grindr account which had HILARIOUS consequences.

GAYS: If you're ever out for drinks with a straight friends hand them your phone and turn on Grindr and enjoy the outcome.

I wish I had taken screen grabs of the conversations, especially between Henry and a Grindr user, it was eye watering funny and escalated hard, none of which you, my loyal readers, would find that funny without the screen grabs. Henners is a deviant bitch.

The boys made friends with a very sweet girl who got involved with the killer pool, I believe she was trying to sell us something, I think it was the glow sticks in the shape of glasses or maybe it was flowers, either way I am not sure we bought anything but if we didn't that child has probably been murdered since.  RIP young one.

Collection of the temples in Chiang Mai.

Inside of one of the temples in Chiang Mai.

 Decorative dragon outside a temple in Chiang Mai.

The boys entertaining the little girl. So cute!

Henry, Myself & Joe.

JUNGLE TREKKING: Tuesday 25/11/2014 // Wednesday 26/11/2014 // Thursday 27/11/2014

DAY ONE

Now, I never thought in a million years that I would go jungle trekking, the very thought of it doesn't really shout 'STEVE' does it? I am after all incredibly glamorous, and I enjoy my personal products, a lovely bed, a cocktail, sun tan, moisturisers, I'm effectively a TOWIE cast member (main, Obvs!) without actually being on the show.  I am not one for nature except watching it on my TV screen, in the safety and comfort of a bricked building, but never the less it was something I was very excited about and the only thing I knew for sure I had to do.  Joe and I got picked up bright and early and we commenced picking others up. On a little side note the hostel refunded me three nights of stay and kept the bulk of my luggage under lock and key whilst I was on this trip and ensured I still had a bed for when I returned.

We were placed into a large version of a Tuk Tuk and we collected the other folks who we were going to be trekking with.  Now the first two we picked up was Sam and Leanne. I can't go on without describing my first visual and hearing of these two, we were outside their hotel and I could see this very glamorous young lady, who I now know to be Leanne, her hair and look had been TURNT OUT (this means HOT!) and her face had been beaten to an inch of her LIFE (this means impeccable make up), and she was carrying her handbag, initially I was like she can't be coming to this trek, and low and behold she was! I thought to myself, and I believe I said this out loud to Joe - 'THIS IS MY KINDA GURRRRL'.  Sam came to my visual shortly after Leanne, Sam is a self professed Tranny, although she isn't actually a Tranny, and she was armed with a guitar, again she looked glamorous and chic but Sam stood out with her clearly defined Scottish accent.  These girls were HILARE from the get go.  It was a guaranteed ZERO AWKS SILENCE trip.  I shall write it now, and I am sure to write this again at some point but I have NEVER met anyone quite like Sam, she has the most incredible personality, everyone needs, and it is a NEED, a Sam in their lives.  Anyways, onwards we collected the others; Zayla and Cheeky - whom have become firm friends of mine since Thailand and into Australia and I adore them and you'll read plenty more about these two through my other blog posts. I miss them! Adi and Eva from Israel who were Mother and Daughter, beautiful people.  Alfonso, Stefano and Davide who are three Italian 'MACARONIES' who spoke very little English but as the trip went on they understood more, they were such nice boys and a lot of fun to be around and plus they shared the 'wealth' with me in the Jungle.  Not forgetting the trek guide himself, Sura (Don) who was a total gent, and was the cherry on top of a very fulfilling cake a complete gem.

Once Trekkers Assembled we went to a Butterfly farm which is very lovely, and made even more special for Joe as one of the buttterflies was infatuated with him inside the sanctuary and made love to his trainer and proceeded to ejaculate on it. YES, REALLY! A butterfly actually factually skunked on Joe's trainer. It is one of the funniest things I have ever encountered in my life.

The Butterfly Farm.

The sexually aroused Butterfly & Joe. Who or rather what wouldn't want to make sweet sweet love to Joe ('s trainer).

After the Butterfly Farm we travelled via vehicle to the start of our jungle trekking experience, and first thing was elephant riding.  It was an incredible experience that left me with a bad taste in my mouth (not literal).  You can buy bags of fruit for the elephants before you 'board' for what will be about a 45 minute journey.  I rode with Adi and Eva and it was fun mostly, I was in great company, and it was really great to get to know them more, but I didn't feel comfortable with myself 'riding' the elephant.  Each elephant comes with a walker who carry large sticks with a sharp metal end.  Anyways I rode the elephant and if I were to ever do this again, I would definitely just walk by the side of the elephant.  Once we arrived at the meeting point we got to have photos with our new Elephant friends.  It was at this point Joe & I left the group to go meet the 'Karen Long Neck Hilltribe'.  It says what it does on the tin, so to speak, these women we met were in the process of having a long neck or did already have a long neck.  They have gold rings placed around their necks on their Birthday if I recall properly, it's not from birth though.  This does actually lengthen their neck and they are actually heavy but I am sure you get used to it as you get older, they don't really know any difference I guess.  It was an experience, and worth the extra pennies to meet them and learn a bit about their lives and culture. We were able to have some photos which you can see here;

Beautiful Elephant wanting food.

Such a beautiful animal.

The Long Neck Karen Hill Tribe.

I've joined The Long Neck Karen Hill Tribe.

After the greet and meet with the Karen tribe we commenced a short trek to where we would be having lunch before the real first stage of trekking commenced.  We lunched in this bamboo café and it had been prepared for us, it was rice and vegetables wrapped in a large green leaf of some sort to keep it warm and we had some very spicy chilli sauce to go with it.  It was seriously tasty.  Once we had lunched we started walking up the mountains of Northern Thailand, I natch was in charge of the large knife to protect the group incase of Tigers, Lions, Bears, Snakes, and/or other dangerous predatory creatures that are found in Northern Thailand.  I think we trekked about 3 or 4 hours through some rough terrain, but not too bad, and a little drink stop included. It's rather amusing to be able to buy Coca-Cola on a mountain in North Thailand. When we eventually got to our night stop and the village that we would be staying in and the view was the first thing I noticed incredible, truly stunning.  Our sleeping quarters was this large bamboo hut with mats on the bamboo floor and mosquito nets and blankets.  Dinner was prepared and cooked for us by our hosts and beer was available at a very reasonable price in a cool box - you take a beer and mark it against your name so you can settle the bill before you leave the following day. 

Zay, Cheeks, Leanne, and Joe sitting down for grub.

Lunch is served.

Selfie stick action during a break from trekking.

Throughout the day we got to know each other as a group, and as individuals. In the evening that continued, and the entertainment was from Sam and her guitar who sang some songs and we would all join in.  It really sounds like a movie plot line, it was a bit surreal.  The sun was setting, the guitar was out, not a COOMBAYAH to be heard though!! We are definitely a more relevant group.  Sam has incredible talent/s.  The gal can not just sing, she can SANG, you know?! Plus she can play the guitar. Oh I'm not sure if I have mentioned, she has been on BGT and The X Factor, plus fingers and toes crossed but she is doing well in the Big Brother 2015 rounds. As the night progressed I took some time out from the group, and I laid on the bamboo flooring of the 'balcony' and chilled for half an hour or so looking up at the stars.  I had never ever seen a night sky like it.  So vivid, I actually got lost in the stars just staring and taking in the moment.  I know this sounds quite douchey but it's true.  I saw my first shooting star, in fact I saw five and made wishes for the friends and family back home.  I really wanted my best friend, Tras, with me to experience that moment.  It was one of life's perfect moments and in that moment I knew I was in the right place at the right time.  I rejoined the group for more songs and spent the rest of the evening with them before bed.

Myself, Leanne, Adi, Sa, and Joe at our home for the evening.

Our inn for the night, high up in the mountains of Northern Thailand.

Dinner is served, made for us by such lovely tribes people. It was delishylocious.

As many of the group we could get in one picture at dinner

DAY TWO

Night one wasn't too horrif. I mean considering we were up a mountain, in the jungle, in a bamboo village surrounded by only godney knows what. I thought I had slept badly, and when I mentioned this to the others, they assured me that wasn't the case as I had woken several of them up due to my snoring. I maintain to this day; I do not snore. I. do. NOT. Snore. I think. Anyway, when I first woke up it was about 6am, some of us had discussed that we should get up for the sunrise, it was expected to be magnificent. In reality just two of us surfaced, Joe and I;

Sunrise in the mountains of Northern Thailand. How beautiful is that?!

Selfie stick in use with the sunrise for some back lighting.

Myself & Joe. We were the only ones to make it up for the sunrise. What a moment.

Obvs the sunrise required one of those 'in thought' poses.

After seeing the sunrise I had headed back to lie down for a bit before getting fully up and ready for the day ahead. Once up I indulged in the coldest and rankest shower I have ever had (actually that's not completely true...) and we enjoyed breakfast partially zombified as a group. I think it is fair to say we all reflected for a bit this morning. Jus to take in where exactly we were in the world and how far away from the realities of home we were, I certainly did. After brekkie we commenced phase one of the day and that was a trek to the first waterfall. Again a great walk that involved a drink/ice cream stop where a bunch of kids came rushing out to greet us, oh no not us, but the ice cream man. Even in the mountains of Northern Thailand the children have priorities. Leanne and I decided to do a public appeal for these children, so a video was made, I have yet to work out how to put videos on here (still!), but it is very funny, even in poor taste - the best comedy is that of poor taste, right?

When we approached the first waterfall we had to descend down to it, you could hear it before you saw it and once there it was very beautiful, not massive in any way but nevertheless beautiful. Don got straight into business by making us our cutlery for lunch, he made us chopsticks out of bamboo, for all of us. I have kept mine, genuinely impressed. The others went into the water and I was initially apprenhensive about going into the water, not being able to see what was in it etc. I took photos for the others and I eventually worked up the courage to go in as everyone was having so much fun. After a while we all got dried up and we had our lunch, it was rice wrapped in the big green leaves  again, and again it was so good. Another delicious lunch. We trekked some more to another waterfall, which was bigger and as beautiiful as the first. We all took the opportunity to go for another dip and for more photo opportunities. We were not in this one for long, oh no. As I am being bashed by the falling water, which was utterly delightful FYI, it came to our attention that there was a fucking snake. A SNAKE!!!!! SNAAAAAAKE! I turned and I could see this slithery slim long fucking snake on the ledge of the waterfall. Excuse the language but I really need to emphasise my feelings. I freezed for a period of time before it dawned on me that I was stlll in the water. I left as quick as I could. As I did so the snake fell into the water. Even Don freaked out, but later made out that it wasn't dangerous. Hmmmm. If it wasn't dangerous why the fuss? Why try and kill it? Just saying. It was definitely the most dangerous snake in the world. None of us remained in the water from that moment. 

We trekked a bit further before getting to our home for the night.  This one was within the jungle, no amazing views, we were surrounded by trees, bushes, and probably tigers. It was another combayah type of night, singing around the camp fire and playing music, we also played 'Heads Up' too, which was super funny, even more so with our MACARONIES. By this point it's fair to say we all knew each other pretty well and it was comfortable. We all slept in a large wooden hut again, I didn't sleep too well on this night.

The Jungle is Massive.

The MACARONIES, Leanne & I at the first waterfall.

Leanne, Sam, and I.

Hunks. Obvs. We're waiting for a calendar to be commissioned. 

Striking a pose at the snake infested waterfall with Adi.

DAY THREE

The following day we had brekkie which involved eggs and toast, the toast was really good, you can't really go wrong with toast. So we had a short trek to complete that day to the white water rafting. Once we got to the river and prepared ourselves for the rafting, there were other trekkers here too. Our group seperated into two teams, The British vs The Internationals. We prepared ourselves for the biggest contest since Eurovision 2014. Unlike Eurovision however, The British won the race, it wasn't an easy win though. There were tough moments, we got stuck between a rock and a hard place (another rock), we almost lost a member, JOE!, which was too funny!!! Towards the end however The Inters experienced their own personal battles which ultimately saw them defeat. Seriously though it was so much fun, I would have liked it more ferocioous for sure but it was super fun and something I would most definitely do again. Now, once this was over with we had to change from a boat to a bamboo raft. Picture this if you can, we're in a boat on a river, possibly the Kwai but who knows? The water is pure dirty, I mean you can't make out anything, the bamboo rafts were about 10 bamboos width and already had 6/8 people on them. I transferred to the bamboo allocated to me and we started to sink, our weight had not been distributed evenly or whatever, after a bit of re-jigging we started to go furthher along the river, we were in the middle of a river that was about the width of The Thames. As we were very slowly moving along the river we were also sinking. It was funny, without a doubt but all manor of disasters were going through my head, and typically as such one disaster transpired from mind to reality. ANOTHER FUCKING SNAKE. This time I had no where to escape, no where to go. The snake was about two feet away from me, having a bloody swim down the river, with its upper body just erect and all slithery. I was in sheer shock and fear. I could not believe it, seeing two snakes on this trek. One of the other trek leaders actually managed to get the snake and well the bugger had it's last breathe from what I understand. Once again they told us that the thing was harmless and once again their reactions did not coincide with their words, clearly another of the worlds most dangerous snakes. The relief I had getting on to land is unexplainable. Unexplainable. For those that don't know I am absolutely petrified of snakes, I can't even acknowledge them in a zoo or on TV. I think they are pure evil and it was actually my biggest fear going on this trek. Thankfully I survived to tell both tales, aren't you lucky! 

The British.

Once on dry land we had lunch and WIFI, yes, after two full days and a half without 3G, 4G, the little circle of death, E, or WIFI we got actual WIFI. For the first time in the trek everyone, almost, was stuck to their phones. 2014 people, 2014. (Myself included).

We travelled back to the hostel where Joe and I were greeted by Momma Noi who could see the relief, the Indiana Jones realness we were serving and gave us a couple of free beers. Tonight was our group night out to celerate our new found friendship and an opportunity to dress up and go out. First Joe and I booked another activity, this one came highly recommended by Caz & Angie when they were in CM, it was Mountain Biking, I opted for the same route as they had done and Joe and I booked that through Momma Noi for the following day.  The following day was my last full day in CM and I didn't want to waste it. 

After a rest I got ready for the night ahead as did Joe, and we headed to a cool rooftop bar just up from the hostel near to the old city walls called THC Rooftop Bar? We met Cheeky and Zayla first and the others joined with the exception of Adi and Eva. Don arrived but then went again as he was going to the boxing with the MACARONIES. After a little while we made our way to an area where there were several bars, one of them  is called Zoe in Yellow, I had heard a lot about this place, and it was rammed. We played pool at another bar round the corner. It is really from this point it becomes blurry, as expected. We ended up in a club where some Thai dude threatened my life, possibly somethng to do with mine and another man's actions on the club's dance floor. I literally have no recollection of said incidents. I owe my life to Don, I believe he managed to calm the dude down. The night was pretty epic actually. It is truly exceptional to have had a group like ours, now I am sure most groups say this but we did merge so well together. I have made life long friends from it without a doubt. As well as Joe who I basically shared my whole CM experience with. Zayla and Cheeky I have met up with numerous times here in Australia and they've elevated my experience here for sure and as soon as I return to the UK Leanne, Sam & I will meet up and hilarity will ensue.

I must have got back to the hostel at about 5am, totally wrecked and needing to be up 3 hours later for mountain biking. I woke up not feeing my best but not my worst either. I drank a lot of water. I made my way down the stairs of the hostel where I slipped and fell down the stairs, hurting the same ankle I hurt at the end of 2013. It did swell but not massively, it was tender though. It is then I should thought to myself that today would not end well. Before I go into the mountain biking, albeit not actually much to tell, I had it in my mind that it would be a slow process of going down dirt tracks on the mountain, I wasn't expecting what had actually been involved, now I can only judge it based on the ten minutes I actuallly spent on the bike. We got protective equipment such as arm/knee pads, and gloves. I got allocated my bike and I familiarised myself with it. We commenced the bike ride, I was in the same group as Joe, as well as a guy from Massachewzits I think it was, who is an alleged mountain biker himself. Now the reality of what I thught was involved was quite different. We descended the mountain on a road, a road that had gravel all over the place, it was uneven, and there were pot holes. I was hungover, and delirious, I had fallen down stairs just an hour or two prior. The initial descent was ridiculous, I was going very very fast, I was at the back of the pack and tried to slow down but not much was happening. A couple of times I thought I was going to come off the bike due to the gravel and speed. The alleged mountain biker hiimself was in front of me, all over the road, his back wheel was sliding and the gravel and dust was flying up in the air. I started to panic, and panic hard. I was scared stiff and I just couldn't seem to slow down. I reckon I was going at the very least 40mph, maybe even 50. I hadn't experienced anything like it. I couldn't slow down, my heart was racing and I was shaking, I couldn't calm myself down, there were bends and pot holes and various other obstructions. I broke, and I broke hard. Too fucking hard. The front wheel completely locked and I just went flying through the air, over the handle bars, projected across the road scraping my skin along the gravelly road, hitting my right knee and stomach and right arm all along the road. I slid for about 8 or so metres from the bike, and two metres away from the edge of the godney forsaken mountain where I would have died, no exadge. 

I was initially a bit miffed, I wasn't quiite sure what had happened, I was on my own but before I realised it some of the group had made their way back. I remember seeing blood on my right knee. I got up and sat down and rested my arms on my legs. When I stood up I saw a mass of blood on my knee from my elbow. My pads had all slipped, they were obviously not securely fastened or if they were then the force moved them. Thankfully my money maker, no not that - my face, had not been damaged. When Joe got back I was slightly delirious I think, demanding why he wasn't filming or taking photos, "Facebook Gold" I exclaimed, I may have been asking 'How's the face? The face???!?!!!!'. The tour guide washed some of my injuries, not very well I might add. After the intial shock came the pain. Oh the pain. The damned pain. I was struggling to move my right arm as well as the rest of my body. The guide initially told me that I wouldn't be completing this route - Er, NO SHIT SHERLOCK? There was a bit of a conflab as to whether I would need to go to hospital, but once I saw photos of my injuries it became apparent that is exactly what needed to happen. The guide arranged for a vehicle to take me to hospital. I left Joe to complete the rest of the day. 

Before I was taken to hospital I was taken to a coffee shop in the mountain where they grow their own coffee, it was delicious, FYI. I waited for my hospital ride for a bit. I was taken to the hospital in agony,  I couldn't position myself where I was comfortable. The driver didn't speak English but he had a nice aura about him. I eventually got to the CM Hospital where I was greeted by a staff member of the biking company who spoke English, she was lovey, and a small army of hospital staff came immediately towards me. I was treated immediately, no waiting at all. They cleaned all my injuries, of which I had five, three minor and two pretty horrif ones  - my elbow and from my elbow to my shoulder and armpit where pieces of skin had been scraped away.  The clean up process was painful.  The doctor came in and studied the worst of my injuries which  was my right elbow. He insisted I have an X Ray to look for damage.  This was again almost immediately, I waited aboout 5 minutes and I was wheeled there. The X Ray revealed no bone damage however it did show that I had a stone caught between the elbow joint. I had local aneasthetic and the doctor dug deep for treasure. I couldn't feel it which was nice. The doc excreated one stone and then a second which was a surprise. He cleaned and washed the area and started stitching me up. Silly me, I forgot the worst part of this process; THE IODINE. That brown stuff is hell, it is by far the most painful thing I have experienced, maybe beecause  it was used in five places  one of which was my elbow gash. My Godney it was horrendous. As a true modern day hero I made it through the rain (pain). The doctor ordered me to attend the hospital  the following day, my leaving day to Sydney. A morning appointment was arranged and I was directed to the pay desk. In total, plus the medication, of which I was given two antibiotics, painkiller and ibubrofen,  the hospital bill was about £250. The lady who met me at the hospital kindly took me back to my hostel, I was covered in bandages, on the back of her moped. Too soon, it was defo too soon. I arrived to the hostel and Momma Noi saw how bashed up I was and she tried to comfort me. Joe soon arrived back and explained how fantastic the ride was, he obvs had concern for me too. We went for dinner and had a much much needed quiet night in after the week we had had in CM. The following day I checked out and I had previously explained. to Momma Noi  that I needed to go back to the hospital then to the airport.  She had gone straight outside and got me a Tuk Tuk and unbeknown to me until I arrived at the hospital she had paid for it! What a lovely woman. Truly one of the few fantastic Thai people I met. I was touched. I had my wounds looked at and re-dressed. It was explained to me that after two weeks my stitches would need to come out. I left for the airport and there endeth my Thailand experience, my Thailand  journey. I boarded an Air Asia flight to Kuala Lumpur airport, which is amazing, and then I was Sydney, Australia bound.

If you made it to the end of this post I'm grateful. It's a big one! Thank you for taking the time. Please comment / share / re-blog etc.

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